1. I always have gum.
2. I know how to make friendship bracelets! Not only do they make a lovely wrist or ankle adornment, but friendship bracelets are a physical representation of our love and commitment to each other. I mean, key word here: friendship bracelets.
3. I wear glasses. Everybody likes having a person who wears glasses hanging around, because it automatically makes that person seem dorkier ergo, making the original person seem cooler. Also, everybody who doesn't have glasses likes trying on someone else's glasses.
4. I can spell. Obviously a huge asset to everybody who knows me.
5. I know about one hundred and one ways to use a banana. The best being, in delicious and fluffy banana pancakes. Which you can probably convince me to make for you. If you are my friend.
6. I am incredibly gullible. Like seriously. Very. Very gullible. You know that joke about how gullible is written on the ceiling? Well the first time I heard that joke, I looked. I don't need to explain to you why gullibility is just about the most valuable quality a friend could have.
7. I do good impressions sometimes. Thus invoking the hilarity quotient.
8. I know the difference between affect and effect. If you don't believe me, ask me to use them in a sentence.
9. I am 16% Native American. Which means I can pretend I'm exotic and/or a minority and everybody wants to have a friend who is exotic and/or a minority.
10. I can French braid AND knit. I firmly believe that these two skills will save lives one day. As in, the day when we are all stranded on a Swedish mountainside during a snowstorm. In the event that this situation arises, I will not only be able to knit us a blanket for warmth, I will also be able to french braid our hair so that we blend in with the locals. You know you want to be my friend now.
11. I have tons of music! Most people probably wouldn't say I necessarily have good taste, but at least it's varied. That means I am always available to spice up your music collection when it is need of some spicing. Even though my definition of spicy is often Swedish, depressing, or made up of men who sound like women (Mika) and women who sound like men (Brody Dalle). Or struggling, underground hip hop artists.
12. I shower. Every. Day. No exceptions.
13. I have tons and tons of useless random knowledge. This knowledge is vast, intensive, and pertains to such subjects as Jane Austen novels, Coffee beverages and the world of coffee, names of Lord of the Rings actors, how to build a fire, the Brit Pop and New Wave movement, Woodstock, grammar rules, the Bible, quotes and trivia from NBC comedy, the art of archery, where to watch TV for free online, music theory, secrets to delicious chocolate chip cookies, how to make an awesome mix tape, and 101 ways to use a banana.
15. I carry a purse 95% of the time. This means you can count on me to hold your water bottle, sunglasses, chapstick, car keys, tampons, or basically any other item of a reasonable size and weight that you want carried. Plus, for that 5% of the time when I don't carry a purse, I have superb cleavage with amazing storage capacities.
16. I have superb cleavage.
17. I always have gum. And let's be honest, that's enough to convince most people.
