This post won't be long, because I am watching a movie, and I am enjoying the movie, and to be honest I don't really want to write you a post right now; I just want to focus on the movie.
In Virgil's The Aeneid, Turnus' sister Juturna receives the gift of immortality from the gods, but for a price; that price being her virginity. Basically, what that says to me is that virginity, is, or at least used to be, majorly, hugely valued. It was a big deal. Juturna's purity was worth immortality.
I've managed to hold onto my virginity for coming on nineteen years now. I say managed because- well I won't get into why I say that- but suffice it to say, it's stuck around, and I'm glad for that.
Two girls in my literary non-fiction class were discussing their virginity the other day. Both of them had lost it, to men they had intended to marry, but had later broken up with. Both claimed they didn't regret it. "It wasn't my choice to end that relationship," said one of them. "If it had been up to me, we would still be together. So I think that justifies what I did."
Yeah maybe but it's definitely BS if you say you don't regret it. I know you do, I know you do so painfully with every fiber in your being. There are a million little things I regret doing with different people, even though none of them are on the level of having sex. Even saying things, giving away emotional pieces and intimacies of myself- I regret things as little as that. So don't try to tell me your virginity was worth nothing, that it didn't matter that you gave it away.
I know other people still, who are saving their first kiss, even, for their wedding day, or at least their fiance. I don't fall into that category. This is a choice I've made, not because I've already given away my first kiss (though to be honest, I have) but because for whatever reason, I don't believe that it's something that needs to be saved. I believe it's affectionate, and if I'm in a relationship with someone, the level of affection I have for them certainly merits a kiss.
But not more.
In that way, I don't have to fight a losing battle by trying to stifle all sexual desire entirely, but I don't make compromises either.
The problem is a lot of people disagree. And ultimately you need your partner to agree with you, or it's all just for nought.
I don't really know what the point is. That I'm a virgin and I'm okay with it, I guess. I haven't always been (okay with it). Some days I'm still not. Some days I wish I could say I was a virgin and feel like I was a virgin, mentally too and everything. Most days, I'm excited that I get to get married, hopefully to someone awesome, and sleep with only that person, ever, for the rest of my life.
Because it really is kind of awesome.
Next week maybe I'll post this essay I wrote for my non-fiction writing class. It's kind of an essay, kind of a book review. It's basically supposed to mimic The New Yorker and I wrote it on The Book Thief, and I'm still editing it, but I think it's fairly decent. So perhaps we can look forward to that.
Also, here is an awesome comic my english/writing major friend sent me: http://forlackofabettercomic.com/?id=35
So true.
Until we meet again.
1 comment:
Another place where virginity is hugely valued: The Bible. If you go to the book of Judges, you will find there the story of Jepthah, a judge who promised to sacrifice to God the first thing that came out of his house, if God would give him the victory in battle. Suffice it to say, that thing turned out to be his virgin daughter. Before he sacrificed her however, Jepthah allowed his daughter two months to go away with her friends and mourn her virginity. True story. Her precious virginity (not life) was the big deal here. Actually, some people interpret this story, not as Jepthah sacrificing his daughter's actual life, but simply sacrificing her virginity; she would remain forever a virgin, devoted to God. I tend to lean towards the prior, more gory interpretation but the point remains the same either way. Virginity. It's a big friggin deal.
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